Fighting Cancer..One Day at a Time

ok----
yesterday i had my pre op exam.  apparently before surgery now you have to have a physical exam to make sure you survive it.  lol.
i guess i passed.  they checked my oxygen levels, i had to walk around the hallways fast about 4 times and check me during and after.  did not need ekg as i had one recently and it proved without a doubt i still had a heart in there somewhere beating awy more or less normally.

i got weighed and found out i lost 7 lbs.  which is terrific as i will never miss it and need to lose some more.   if i agreed to chemo and radiation i bet that would be no problem but i am being stubborn.

surgery is sept 10.  i have a post op exam on the 25 where i am supposed to be cheeked by the surgeon, the oncologist and the radiation oncologist.  . it will be a long ass day as the appointments are in colorado springs which is bout a 2 hr drive away.  like i said, long ass day.

i have to say the penrose st francis / rocky mnt cancer center  center is outstanding.  if i got to have cancer that is the place to go.  did i mention earlier that they have cookies?  the good ones,  pepperidge farms milanos.  i would do just about anything for milanos.  i rarely buy them as they are too addicting.  and mango licorice.  sounds weird but daaMn, that stuff is good.  if you ever have to stop smoking get yourself about 20 bags of the mango licorice.  BIG help.

anyway--
i ams till trying to research and learn and study about this breast cancer crap.  i am not pleased to be having it and am determined to  kill it.  i told a family member that it is like entering a war.  you have to kill it before it kills you.

i have learned people dont like to talk about cancer / death / surgery as tho it is too real, too painful.  it is scary.  i wonder if it has been made to be more scary than it really is?

i keep reading about the big cancer industry that has sprung up, billions of dollars for all involved.  except the poor sob who has the cancer.

i do not believe in poisoning with chemo or killing with radiation, why do that to an alreay sick and weakened body in hopes of killing the cancer before you kill the body?  i look at my friend pete, 55 yrs old  with a cancer that started near his kidney and now has spread.  he had chemo and radiation a few times and the tumor once shrank a bunch and now it has stopped and the cancer has spread.
they made him sicker.  he has lost over 60 lbs and is a shadow of himself.  he lives on morphine and is basically waiting to die.  he has given up.

cancer is bad enough but adding chemo and rads, well, it is not a path i want to go down.     and i know it makes me sound stupid--how dare i not trust the medical community and do what they say?>  who am i to question?

well----me.  it is a historical fact that the medical community thru the centuries always considered itself the most educated, modern and scientific even while doing things like apply leeches to purge out bad blood giving arsenic for a cure and draining a sick patient and weakening them.  that so many survived over the centuries is an example of human will to survive no matter what dammit.

there is too much evidence that chemo is a flat out poison and makes people worse.  and enough to show radiation is not a great idea to poison the cancerous and healthy cells and cause a die off, hoping to not have too much a of a die off.  radiation is sort of like 'kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out' mentality.  if you survive 5 yrs after treatment you are considered 'cured' even if you die the next day so you are added to the official 'cured' stats. something off about that.

if people choose this path, i wish them all the best and a speedy recovery and 100% cure.  but i am convinced there are other tool that are just as if not more successful and do not harm the body during the healing process.  there are waay too many people killing cancer and being cured to dismiss everything beside the standard treatments approved by the AMA.

i am drawing the line on coffee enemas tho.  there are far better things to do with a good cup of coffee than put it where the sun dont shine.  but----it is something some folk believe helps them, doesnt seem to cause damage and they ue it in conjunction with other treatments to fight their cancer.

we ARE in a war.  a war to kill cancer.  there are many different tools to fight this war and some tools work better for some folk than others.  you have to find your individual tool that work for you and make you feel good and strong in your battles.

i am using 2oz essiac tea
20 B17 apricot kernals
9T lipsomal vit C
cannabis oil  2.5 gms paste 2x a day
moscow mules
--just kidding.  everyone knows a moscow mule does nothing to cure cancer but it sure does make you feel better about having it.

moscow mule recipe:
large glass
jigger of vodka
ginger beer
lime juice
lots of ice

damn good drink.  if you cant find ginger beer try ginger ale, tho it will not be as robust in flavor, but it is do-able.  i recently made some ginger extract to use instead of ginger ale.  i prefer the ginger beer by far, you can substitute if you need to, but these things are addicting and sure do make the end of the day go smooth sitting on the porch watching the hummingbirds dive bomb each other and the puppies run around causing havoc while you rest comfortably on the porch swing and let the world around you go mad-----  have another moscow mule and you wont care that the world is crashing and burning economically around you.  hope you prepared somewhat by the way, things aint looking good for the next 12-16 months.

sheeeesh.  what a time to have cancer.
sorry, i dont mean to whine, but there is so much to do this fall and im having surgery to cut 1/3 of my breast off plus some lymphs and have to do 4-6 wks recovery right in the beginning of canning and harvest time.

i dont know how i am going to deal with all this

but time stops for no one so i gots to keep on keeping on.
every once in a while i stop and have a pity party and have a good cry.  you have to or you explode.  but you cant stay there--you cant let yourself stay in some pit of gloomy self pity cause it is deadly.  that is sort of an emotional form of cancer i think.  you have to fight that too.

seems like about everything these days is a batle one way or another.

well, today is green bean day--first round of pickings.  got to do it while i can.  got to pick while i can, get as much done before surgery as possible,

fresh green beans!  man, thats some good stuff.
got the dehydrator going to finish up the zukes for this winter, when that is done i will dry todays green beans  i will can some later on, today i will be lazy and just dry them.  then i got to make some yogurt--so i got thing to do.  got to strain and bottle some tinctures that are ready too--so i better get myself going.

i wish you all the best, i wish you the good Lords blessing and protection and friendship.

Cancer Visit

well, i had my big day in the city going to see the oncologist and then the surgeon.  it was an interesting long ass day.  when i saw the oncologist, a young guy it was obvious that he had not spent one minute on my chart before entering.  ok, i get it, maybe he has been real busy.  but then he does not seem to have a clue---so he asks me why do i think i am there.

i just looked at him a minute cause i figured it was a stalling measure while his brain gathered itelf--i dutifuloy recited the steps i had taken to discover i had breast cancer.

i asked him some questions, he was kinda vague so i let it go.  then i went to the surgeon and she was great, explained everything real well, out front, heres what we got to do sort of thing.

so they want surgery to take out a chunk about the size of a lemon she said.  will also sample the lyphs just in case and to make sure they are clear of cancer cells.  then 4-6weks recovery and then 3 weeks of radiation.  no chemo at this stage. 

i asked about her treating people who used alternative treatments and she was not thrilled but said it would be fone for supporting but the core is the surgery and radiation.

for radiation id have to go to the springs nad live there cause i cant go back and forth to the springs every day.  there is a guest house attached to the hospital so id stay there while undergoing treatment sometime in november i think.
i dont want to deal with it o i tiold them id put it off until my post op visit.

i dont want radiation.

i have been taking the cannabis paste / oil and am almost up to high dose.  it makes me groggy and sleepy until i adjust to the higher dose.   heck the surgery is not until 9/10 there is a good
chance that will do a real number on the tumor before the surgery. 
a friend is going to have to take me, and they wnat me to spend the night in the guest house then too after the surgery to make sure i am alright.  id rather just come home and go to bed, so i will see how that works out.

so, moving forward but next big step is the surgery and the tests done from that to make sure it has not spread.



.