i survived

well, i survived my breast surgery.  it was not fun.  in fact it was so un-fun that it was terrible, but it is over and i am home.  got home later on the 10th, took a pain pill ad crawled into my own bed with my own pillows and gave thanks to God for getting me there and carrying me through the whole ordeal. 

first theng they inserted a metal tube thing in my brest about on top of the tumor in order to insert a wire to mark the site for the surgeon.  that hurt but i got thru it.  then they got the bright idea to insert a needle into my nipple and inject radiaoactive particles into my lyph system to see where it traveled and to help surgeon to find lymph nodes to tke them out.

THAT freaking HURT like crap.  i hollared and told the dr to stop but he ignored me.  im sure he has heard it all from all the ladies he has stabbed.  he was very calm throughout and i guess that it was good someone was.  but that freaking hurt going in and burned and i cried and cried and held on to a nice nurse who wrapped her arms around me and let me cry and cried with me.

then they had to take pictures of me with the breast stabbed with this fricken long wre thta stuck up, had to prop the breast up here, turn there tht was not fun but i got thru it.  then i had to wait and hour and go to radiation where they did some gamma pictures i guess the are called.  then off to pre-op and sit for awhile  found out they could take me earlier than 1230 and i was all for that casue i was sick and tired of it all and hurting nad wanted to get the heck out of there.

surgery then post op.

how are you feeling?

like crap.  i hurt.

how much do you hurt?  rate it 1-10

im an 8.  ive given birth naturally and i call that a 10, right now i am at least an 8.  i need something.

they put something in my iv and later asked how i was.

o, i am a 7.  i stil need something.  get me to a 5 and i can deal with it as i live with a 3-4 daily pain level. 

they ave me a couple different things and i rested and snoozed for about an hour then tarted to wake up and feel a bit stronger and said i wanted to go home.  that was all i cold think about--getting home.

if i got home id be safe.
if i got home i could deal with my pain better
if i got home i could really rest.
if i got home they could not poke or jab me anymore.

here is the deal----
prior to surgery i was told they hd to remve a chunk the size of a lemon to get tumor nd surrounding area for clean margins.

they found they actually only had to take a section the size of a walnut.
THAT is a big difference.  i am convinced it had shruk down from the cannabis paste / oil and tuff i had been taking,
they did not say so,  they did not want to talk aobut alternative treatments or that i was taking some cannabis.  they did not mention the tumor had shrunk---BUT they found they only had to take a smaller part.

id say that was progress.  a step in the right direction.
today o stopped the pain pills and went back on the cannabis caps.
2 of them seem to do as good as one pain pill without feeling groggy.  so today i put the pain pills away and will just do the cannabis.  i am doing better and even had a good nap today.

i had big bandages and a stretchy tube top sot of thing with a velcro front.  i slipped in my medical magnet pads and that YES does hep reduce the pain a good bit.


had a nice dinner and a glass of wine, gonna take some cannabis pills and go to bed for a better nights rest.

i cab not Prove the cannabis paste shrunk the tumor.  all i know is that come surgery time they found it was smaller than 3 weeks ago when i was diagnosed and mammogram and sonograms taken.

i wonder if i had a few more weeks would it have shrunk completely ?  i do not know.

my breast is sore and under my arm where they cut out some lymphs nodes but i am better today and tomorrow i will be even better.

my throat was a bit irritated but i guess that was from the tube they inserted.  i felt some uncomfortable tightness there and took some sips of the Spaz-ez i make for cramps and spasms and that too care of it just fine.

the very odd this is that my stomach muscles feels like i have done 100 sit ups. and i dont get that--how the heck did THIS feeling come from???

but i am home.  i go back for post op on sept 25 and they will wnt to set a radiation schedule.  i doubt i will do that part.  really---i have had Enough of this stuff...................

many thanks and blessings for all those who have prayed for me and kept me in their thoughts and sent good wishes.  YES it made a difference.  thank you.

tomorrow i get to take the bandages off to see what all i got left in the boob department.  i will let you know......