Recovery Thoughts

i feel like i am still playing catch up.  tho each day is a little better, i feel like i cant get enough sleep.  it is still a bit uncomfortable trying to find a position to sleep in, and when i roll over to my favorite position (laying on right side) by incisions protest and wake me up reminding me that is not the happy place.  but that  is also getting a bit easier.

i look at my scars that are not as bad as i feared, i put cannabis coconut oil on and that helps alot with the pain and soreness  in my breast.  have to take some extra strength tylenol now and then and for awhile  was still taking one and a half pain pill at bed time to take the edge off but last night i did not need it, so i am getting better.

tomorrow is back to surgeon for post check up, but i cancelled the radiation and oncologist guys.  just dont want to do it.  dont want the radiation or the drugs---gonna finish this by myself.  i dont get a good feeling about the radiation or drugs so, going to follow my gut instinct.  already got a call back asking why????  lol.  cause id di some research and found that the standard treatments are not as safe as presented, it is just the standard treatment and who are YOU to question !



i wish everyone well who is undergoing such treatments, but i am not comfortable about it.  so i politely decline, thank you.  just gonna check to make sure my incisions are healing properly--and they look to be so---after that i will take a different path to healing my body.

i have been examining all my actions and decisions and what i have been thru in this breast cancer thingy-----i had decided to go ahead with the surgery thinking it was a smart thing to do.  but now i am not so sure  after 3 weeks of taking cannabis, the 3rd week at the higher cancer killing dose, the tumor DID shrink from 11mm to 8mm.  that is a great sign.  so i have decided that if this thing happens again i will not do the surgery.  im not going thru all that again, as nice as the surgeon was, and i thought she was great, i am not repeating this adventure.  i will treat with the high does of cannabis and take my chances.  after all, even with chemo and radiation, you are still taking your chances and hoping for the best.

well--time for my walk--got to keep the knees moving so i dont get stove up.

God bless you all.  hang in there.
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